Train Across the Kingdom of Toys

After a few days journey, the troupe reached the edge of the toy kingdom. A wood and metal railroad track followed the border, marking the toy king’s territory. An engine chugged by with two cars in tow. The train stopped before them.

The engineer stepped out from under the engine roof. He was a wooden toy with a long, round nose, and a white mustache which hid his mouth. He wore a blue cloth hat over his bald, round head, and he wore blue pinstripe overalls. “Hello, travelers,” he said as he stepped down to the ground. “You look weary. Please, join me. I’m going into the border town next.”

The troupe thanked the engineer for his offer, and they joined him on the train. The train continued chugging along the track.

“It’s not every day you see a group of faeries with a Nutcracker Guard escort,” the engineer said. “You must be honored guests of the toy king himself.”

“I sure hope so,” Shannel said. “I wouldn’t mind spending time with the toy king and learning about his magic. Is it true all toys are given life through the king’s magic?”

“It most certainly is,” the engineer said. “Even this train moves on the king’s power. You’re interested in magic, aren’t you, child?”

“Mm-hm. My idol is the Keeper of Worlds, but I’ve always admired what the toy king can do. When we first met Prince here, I was a bit let down since he doesn’t seem to be all together, if you know what I mean, but seeing you’s rekindled my faith in the toy king’s magic. No offense to you,” she said, looking over at Prince. “It’s just, I had such high expectations of the toy king’s magic, that’s all.” She turned back to the engineer. “But you, you I can see the king’s magic in. There’s a vibrancy. There’s life.”

“I actually wanted to ask about that,” Lilia said. “Like Shannel said, so offense to Prince, but he never talks, and he’s always staring at nowhere. We were starting to think all toys were like that.”

“Could it be because he was away from the toy kingdom?” Limlim asked. “In this one story I wrote, a sorcerer gets his power from a magical stone, but the stone cannot be moved. The farther he or his spells move from the stone, the weaker the power is. Is it the same with toys if they get too far from the king?”

“I don’t rightly know,” the engineer said. “Toys never have any reason to leave toy kingdom. I’ve run this border train for more than 40 of your longs and shorts, and I haven’t once in my life stepped across the border. Never had the inclination to, I suppose.”

While the others talked, Payan had been sitting on the back car, surveying the land. Vast stretches of grassy hills, and few trees barely dotting the land. She wondered if it would be difficult to find a comfortable tree to sleep in at night. In the sky above, there wasn’t a cloud in sight.

The train arrived at the town nearest the border. The troupe thanked the engineer, and they left the train.

Toy Town

The houses of the town contrasted compared with the brick and stone houses of the pixies. Toys used wooden blocks to form the build of their homes, and drawn and colored on cardboard cutouts for the exteriors. No two homes looked alike.

In the town’s marketplace, the toy people moving about were even more varied than their houses. Some were made of wood, others of sewn cloth. There were tall toy people and short toy people, round toy people and square toy people. One little toy boy held tight to a string, and on the other end, a pet toy duck, made of wood, followed after.

“It’s splendiferous,” Shannel said, stepping into the crowd. She raised her arms up into the air. “So much magic, bringing life to all kinds of objects. The toy king must be a powerful witch.” She floated back to the others. “Maybe, do you think, maybe the king will be so happy to have Prince safely back home, maybe he’ll teach me a little of his magic?”

“Anything’s possible,” Adelina said. She walked over to the crowd. “Pardon me, can any of you tell me where to find the toy king’s castle?” The toys continued about their business, paying no attention to Adelina.

“Talk about rude,” Shannel said.

“Maybe they don’t understand us,” Payan suggested.

“But the guy on the train understood us just fine,” Shannel said.

“That could be why he runs the train,” Lilia said. “He probably knows the languages of bordering countries. Didn’t you notice how he used a lot of pixy words, but no faery words?”

Adelina thought back. “Now that you mention it, he did speak like a pixy would. I’m so used to hearing Noemi, I didn’t even consider it. We should have asked him where the castle is when we had the chance. Wait, what am I saying? We have Prince with us.”

Prince stood near the group, staring toward them.

“You can speak with them, right?” Adelina asked. She motioned her question, but Prince continued to stare. “If Meri were here, she’d probably know how to communicate.”

“If everyone else here talks as much as Prince,” Shannel said, “we’ll never get anywhere. Hey, look over there!” Shannel pointed toward the far edge of the marketplace.

Adelina and the others turned to look. They could barely see a nutcracker soldier across the way.

“He’s a royal guard,” Adelina said. “Just like Prince. This should be easy. Let’s go.” Adelina took Prince by the hand and led him through the crowd. The others flew over the crowd and met with her in front of the guard.

“Can I help you?” the nutcracker asked in a gruff voice as the faeries and Prince gathered before him.

“We’ve brought back a lost guard,” Adelina told him, presenting Prince.

“A lost what?” the guard said, straightening up, his shoulders lining up flat. “Members of the Nutcracker Guard do not get lost. We find those who are lost. I don’t know who your friend here is, but he most certainly is not a member of the Guard. Look at his uniform. It’s all wrong. It looks like a design the rat king himself thought up. If anyone lost this fellow, it was a rat.”

The guard’s uniform did appear more finely crafted, with his uniform carefully sewn. A silver medallion adorned his uniform.

“Excuse me,” Lilia said, “but what do rats have to do with toy soldiers?”

“This is no toy soldier of the toy kingdom,” the guard said. “He’s a product of rat magic. He’s someone who’s been turned into a toy. Take him to the royal rat family, and they can remove the spell, although that’s unlikely if they’re the ones who cast it on him in the first place. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m on duty. I’m guarding this town from rats. They like to cross the border and cause trouble in these border towns.”

The troupe headed outside of town.

“Is it true?” Limlim asked Prince. “Are you really a person turned into a toy? It’s like a fantasy story. I should use it in one of our ballets.” Prince didn’t respond.

“Doesn’t it explain everything?” Shannel said. “He doesn’t know any of our languages. He can’t even speak to the toys. He must have come from another kingdom, and he was put under a spell.”

“When I first met Prince,” Adelina said, “he was being attacked by a couple of rats. They were dressed like guards. We can take Prince to see the rat king, but what if he doesn’t remove the spell?”

“We won’t know until we get him there,” Lilia said. “It can’t hurt to try, and nothing will happen if we don’t try.”

“What about Noemi and Meri?” Payan asked.

“No problem,” Shannel said. “Lilia and I’ll go back and let them know where the troupe’s headed.”

“I think I’ll stick around here a while longer,” Limlim said. “I want to take in more of the atmosphere. I have a lot of ideas I need to write down.

“Then it’s settled,” Adelina said. “Payan, Prince, and I will cross the border to the rat kingdom first thing in the morning, and you two will head back to get Noemi and Meri. You can meet up with Limlim here, then meet us at whichever town is closest to the rat castle.”

Kingdom of Rats

Adelina, Payan, and Prince crossed the border from the toy kingdom to the rat kingdom. Grassy fields became barren lots, dirt and brush stretching far across the land. The sun’s heat beat down on the dusty ground.

“It certainly isn’t the most inviting place,” Adelina said. “I’ll be right back.” She lifted into the air, looked around, then returned. “The castle and a town are that way.”

“Will we be safe?” Payan asked. “I’ve only heard bad stories about rats.”

“Back in the pixy castle town, there was a girl who spoke poorly of faeries. Let’s not pre-judge people we haven’t even met.”

“Sorry. I just remember all the stories my mother would tell me.”

“They’re just stories. Right, Prince?”

Prince didn’t react. His gaze remained fixed in the direction Adelina had pointed out.

The three continued across the vast expanse of dirt. The only plant life they passed was thorny and often dried-out tangles of weed. From time to time, the fairies flew to relieve their feet from walking on the hot, dry ground, until the sun’s heavy rays weighed them back down.

Upon reaching town, the faeries looked for shade to rest in, but the sun had become positioned straight up above. An older rat stepped out of her broken down house. Seeing the tired group, she spoke to them in a language the faeries didn’t understand, and then she motioned with her gray-furred arms for the them to enter her home.

Adelina started to follow the old woman, but she noticed Payan’s hesitation. “They’re just stories,” Adelina told her. “Stories mothers tell their children to make sure they won’t be naughty. That’s all. Prince and I will be beside you the whole time.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Adelina took Payan’s hand. “Let’s go inside.”

The house looked more run-down inside than it did outside. There was a stack of hay high enough to sit on, and near that a rock with a flat surface with random small items on top. The rat motioned for the trio to sit in the hay, and she stepped into another room.

“Did you hear her outside?” Payan said. “Her language isn’t like anything I’ve heard before. Do you think Meri would understand her?”

“She may. When the others get here, we’ll stop by with Meri and thank the lady for her kindness.”

The rat returned, carrying a tray with a filled pitcher and four glasses. She set a glass before each of her guests, and herself. She poured the drink into each cup.

Adelina and Payan looked at the drink in their glasses. Pink. Cloudy. Specks floating through it. Payan gave Adelina a hesitate, uncomfortable stare. Prince stared across the room. The old woman motioned for the girls to drink. She lifted her glass to her mouth and took a sip, showing its safety.

Taking a deep breath, Payan reached down and wrapped her fingers around her glass. “I am thirsty… It’s so hot out.” She placed the warm glass against her dry lips, lifted the end, and started drinking. She didn’t notice the texture or flavor, she only kept drinking. The glass emptied, and she set it back down. “It has a funny after-taste,” Payan said, then she fell over, asleep.

“Payan?” Adelina nudged her. “Are you all right?” She reached over for her glass. Lifting it to her nose, she sniffed. Adelina dipped a finger into the drink, then into her mouth, tasting the drink. “Is this what I think it is?” She slammed the glass onto the table, drink spilling out, then she stood, looking down at the old woman sitting across from her. “You used sleeping berries in this drink! That’s what this cloudy stuff is mixed in.”

The rat backed away, scurrying on her side. She said something unintelligible to Adelina.

Adelina picked Payan up in her arms. “Prince, we’re leaving.”

“I don’t think so,” a rat soldier said from the doorway. He bowed to the woman, said something to her, then turned his gaze to Prince. “It’s true. A false toy in the rat kingdom. The king will want to see you.” He gave an order, and a few more rat soldiers entered the house. Two took hold of Prince. Another grabbed Adelina while a soldier took Payan from her arms.

Prince started to struggle in the rats’ grips. He pushed one rat back, then pushed the other to the ground. As the head soldier gave a command, Prince took the wood sword from the belt of the soldier holding Adelina. The soldier let go of Adelina and backed away.

The head soldier barked an order. The soldier holding Payan dropped her into the hay. He pulled out his wooden sword, and quickly swung it at Adelina. Prince blocked his sword, the two pushing their swords toward one another.

Adelina kneeled beside Payan. She held her friend close, watching as the soldier pushed Prince back. The soldier reached for Adelina’s arm, but Prince hit him in the shoulder with the sword, causing the soldier to drop his own sword.

A few more soldiers entered the house. Prince swung at them, but they grabbed his hands, and forced the sword away from him. Another soldier grabbed Adelina, lifting her over his shoulder. The soldiers wrestled for a tight hold of Prince, and took him out of the house. The soldier with Adelina slowly followed after.

The head soldier He said something to the old woman, then he tossed a small purse onto the table. Gold coins fell from the purse, and the old rat quickly grabbed one up. She bit it, then looked carefully for marks on the coin. “She doesn’t even trust the king’s gold,” the head soldier remarked, his eyes looking into Adelina’s as the soldier carried her outside, then he walked out of the house to join them.

“Where are you taking us?” Adelina asked as the head soldier closed the house’s broken door. “What’s going on?”

“Your friend here is a criminal,” the head soldier said. He set to walking, and the soldiers and their prisoners followed.

“Prince hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Hasn’t done anything wrong? He’s been turned into a toy. This is how we punish criminals. We turn them into toys so they can perform hard labor without tiring.”

“What’re you going to do with us?” Adelina asked.

“I am but a soldier. The king will likely judge this toy guilty of attempt to escape, and put it back to work in a maximum security facility. You’re coming along because you’re still awake. If you had just drank that juice like your faery friend, you’d both be waking up and heading home by nightfall. Your failure to cooperate with the apprehension of a criminal will also be judged by the king. You may become a toy yourself.” The head soldier stopped to adjust his armor. He looked over at Adelina. “Listen, our king is fair and just. All you have to do is answer any questions truthfully, and accept his judgment.”

Toys and Books

After practice, Adelina went to the library to see Meri. Since Meri didn’t show up at practice, Adelina decided she would take Prince with her to the library. It would give Meri a chance to get to know Prince a little.

“There are a lot of books here,” Adelina said as she sat down across from Meri. She motioned for Prince to sit beside her.

“It’s a library,” Meri said without looking up from the book. “Libraries have lots of books.”

“Yeah, I guess so. I’m just not used to seeing so many in one place.” She picked up one of the books stacked beside Meri. She opened it, and turned a few pages. “You must have seen more books than you could read in your whole life. How do you know which ones to read?”

“I don’t,” Meri said. She looked up from the book. “Every library has a very different collection. I don’t care about books on local history. I look for books on science. There are so many competing beliefs out there. It’s difficult to know which ones are right and which ones are wrong.” She closed the book, setting it aside. “One day, I’ll be the one conducting experiments, proposing theories, and writing books. I’ll take everything I’ve learned, apply it to the real world, and compile a book of scientific truths.

“Take Prince here for example,” Meri said. “Only the royal family of the toy kingdom knows how he works. They say it’s family magic that gives life to toys, but I don’t believe that. They have a way to simulate life, to make it seem like wood and cloth are the same as you and me. At its core, Prince is lifeless wood with the ability to move.”

“That’s not true,” Adelina said. “Prince has his own mind, and his own thoughts.”

“You may think it does, but that’s just your imagination. It’s always staring blankly into space.”

“So does Limlim, but I wouldn’t say she’s lifeless.”

“Limlim has a creative imagination. Prince doesn’t have an imagination. It can’t. That’s probably why it can’t form words. I’m curious how it even understands us, if it does.”

“He just doesn’t talk with words,” Adelina said. “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t use words. He speaks through his dancing. It’s his way of communicating.”

“That’s your own imagination. You’re imagining it’s telling you things when really it can’t.”

“If you were at practice today, you would have seen him in action. He was full of character.”

“Yeah, a character from Limlim’s story. Did the lack of expression on its face change even once during the performance? No? I didn’t think so. Because it can’t change its expression. You need to understand the difference between someone showing expression and something appearing to show expression.”

Adelina looked at Prince at her side. His blank expression continued to stare at nothing. Adelina took one of the books in her hands. She held it up. “Maybe Prince is like this book. You can read what’s in here, and you can write about it. I can’t do either. I can’t communicate through letters like you and Limlim can. What does this say about me, just because we can’t communicate with ink and paper? Should I say this book doesn’t hold any information just because I can’t get anything out of it?”

“That doesn’t even make sense. It doesn’t apply to the situation.” She thought for a moment, then sighed. “I’ll think about it. If Prince is like a book, then its play performance is like Limlim reading the book aloud. Everyone can hear what’s in the book, but they don’t know if Limlim’s really reading from the book, or making it all up as she goes. It’ll take more than a performance to convince me that there’s more to Prince than the sum of his parts, but I can’t remain open to the possibility. My scientific future can’t start out with blindly following my pre-existing beliefs.

“I should be able to learn a lot more when we reach the toy kingdom. I wonder if there are libraries in the toy kingdom. It’s a shame when a whole culture doesn’t care about preserving information about itself for future generations.”

Adelina slowly set the book back on the table. She wasn’t certain Meri was still talking about toys. It’s almost unheard of for faeries to learn to read and write, or to pursue arts such as painting and dancing. Part of what brought The Sylphides together was their desire to do more with their lives than just drift.

“You’re right. Prince didn’t show expression in his performance. He learned the dance steps right away, and I feel like he understands his part, but his face never changes. Do you think Prince can perform well in a ballet if he doesn’t have his own mind?”

“I’ll reserve my judgment until I’ve seen what if can do for myself. Remember that dragonfly of Noemi’s?”

“Shillelagh? I remember. Noemi had her trained to do all sorts of tricks.”

“Bugs have zero intelligence. Being able to train one is impossible. They don’t have emotions, they don’t have feelings, they don’t have loyalty, and they don’t have compassion. I can’t even begin to understand how Noemi trained her.” She looked over at Prince. “Maybe there are things I simply don’t understand. I want to be known as the faery who always kept an open mind. I’ll reserve further judgment until we’ve reached the toy kingdom, and experienced their culture.”

Adelina smiled. “Thanks.”

A Talk with Limlim

“What do you think of him?”

Limlim, sitting at a bench, looked up from her notepad. Payan stood before her. “You mean Prince? He shows potential. I think he should wear a hood, something to hide his face a little.” She went back to writing down notes. “It’s like his face can’t move, so he always shows the same blank expression.”

“I was just thinking, Adelina and Prince haven’t been apart since they came to town.”

“Prince is just the new guy.” She set her pencil down and looked up at Payan. “She probably knows you’re busy with costume designs, so she doesn’t want to get in your way. I’ve barely had contact with any of you outside of show preparation, and this goes back before Adelina invited Prince along. Soon everything will be finalized, we’ll do our final performance before the competition, then we’ll all be practicing the new show together.

“What about you? What do you think of him?”

Payan sat across from Limlim. “I don’t know. He’s been with my best friend the whole time he’s been here.”

“You feel left out, don’t you?”

Payan didn’t answer.

“First, Noemi takes your place collecting materials, and now Prince is here.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to go. I enjoy spending time together, just me and Adelina. It’s like old times, before The Sylphides formed.”

“There was just too much work to be done working out costumes, right? You’re not alone. Meri and I have been busy, too. We’re almost done, so why don’t you take a break. Meri has. Find something fun to do here in town.”

Listings

Shannel and Lilia looked at the bulletin board where upcoming shows were listed. “At least,” Shannel said, “I think this is their show listing. Which one do you think is us?”

Lilia looked carefully at the markings on each paper on the board. “I should recognize our group name by now, but nothing looks familiar. We’ll never find out what the competition is doing this way. We should ask around and see what people know.”

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, you!” Shannel ran over to an older pixy. “Hey, wait up a minute,” she said to him. “Are you taking in any of the upcoming shows? Have you heard of The Sylphides? We’re one of the ballet groups. We’re the ones who’ll be performing with a toy among our ranks.”

“I’m not interested in shows,” the pixy said. He walked off.

“Okay, well, if you change your mind,” Shannel called after him, “be sure to catch the show!” She went back over to Lilia. “That went well, don’t you think? We might have a new viewer.”

“Maybe,” Lilia said with a giggle. “He didn’t seem too keen on it, though. We’ll have to look for him in the audience, just in case.”

“We’ll keep it up until the whole town knows about the show,” Shannel said. “When we get our biggest turnout ever, and I say it’s all because everyone learned Prince would be in the show, he’ll have to react. No more silence. If he’s going to be a Sylphide, even only temporarily, he’s going to have to open up a little, don’t you think?”

“He’ll only speak if he wants to, so don’t push him too hard, okay? I’m sure he has his reasons. Hey, isn’t that Adelina?” Lilia motioned to a wall at the edge of the marketplace. Adelina rested against the wall there. The two worked their way through the marketplace crowd of pixies, joining their friend at the wall. Adelina greeted them.

“Any idea where Prince is?” Adelina asked.

“I thought he’d be with you,” Lilia said.

“Never mind Prince, have you seen Meri or Limlim? I was hoping one of them would show up.” Shannel leaned against the wall beside Adelina. “I want to know more about the competition.”

“They posted it on a bulletin board,” Lilia told Adelina.

“All that information in one place,” Shannel slid down the wall a little, “and all our readers nowhere to be found!”

“Meri’s at the library. I don’t know about Limlim, but look all around us. The marketplace is full of people,” Adelina said. “Why don’t we ask one of them to read the competition list for us?”

“Ingenious!” Shannel said, standing up from the wall. She nudged an elbow against Lilia’s arm. “Why didn’t we think of that? Never mind, let’s go. We’ll find someone willing to read it near the bulletin board, for sure.”

The three flew over the busy marketplace and landed near the bulletin board on the other side. There they found a pixy with long, black hair posting a notice.

“Oh, are these last-minute entrants?” Shannel asked as she flew beside the dark-haired pixy.

“Can’t you read?” The pixy focused her hands on nailing the parchment to the board.

“We were hoping you could read it for us,” Adelina said.

The pixy let out a huff. She hit the nail one final time, then turned her head to see the trio. “No wonder you can’t read. You don’t see many faeries in competitions like this. And you won’t see any in this one, either. The competition’s been called off.”

“You can’t be serious,” Shannel said. She pushed her way in front of the notice, pushing the dark-haired pixy aside. “What’s it say, what’s is say?”

The pixy placed a hand on Shannel’s shoulder, pushing her back away from the board. “What part of ‘the competition’s been called off’ didn’t you understand?”

“You didn’t say that’s what’s on the paper,” Adelina said. “Does it say why the competition was canceled?”

The pixy pressed her fingers against the side of her forehand. “If you faeries are going to spend time among pixies and do pixy things, the least you can do is learn to read.” She put a finger against the paper. “Look, you see this part? It says it’s a royal decree from the king. Here it says the competition has been postponed indefinitely, until there’s a notice posted saying otherwise. No shows will be performed until that time.”

“What’s this funny-looking squiggle?” Shannel asked, pressing a finger against a marking at the bottom of the page.

The pixy smacked Shannel’s hand away. “That’s the king’s signature. Don’t touch it like that, you’ll smudge it.”

“Well, excuse me,” Shannel said, holding her hand.

“Let’s go,” Adelina said. “We need to find the others and tell them about this.”

The three lifted into the air.

“I’m not sure I trust her,” Shannel said. She stuck her tongue out toward the dark-haired pixy below. “She kept talking like we’re laid-back do-nothings who don’t respect the finer arts!”

“You mean like our parents?” Adelina asked. She quickly cupped a hand over her mouth. “Lilia, I’m sorry, I–”

“It’s all right,” Lilia said. She smiled. “I’m sure my parents were the same way. And you can’t blame her completely. She was right that we don’t know how to read.”

The trio passed over the marketplace.

“Limlim knows how to read,” Shannel said. “And so does Meri. And Noemi.”

“But Noemi’s a pixy,” Adelina said.

“Oh yeah,” Shannel said. “Two out of three, okay?”

“There they are,” Lilia said, pointing at a shop near the edge of the marketplace. She pointed to Noemi, Meri, Payan, Limlim, and Prince below. The three started to descend. “What’ll we tell the costume maker? He was so nice to make the costumes for advertising, and now there won’t be a show.”

“Won’t be a what?” Noemi asked as the faeries touched down.

“A notice was just posted,” Adelina said. “The king called off the competition.”

“Is that so?” An older pixy with a scruffy gray beard stepped out from the shop. “Where did you hear about this?”

“A girl read it to us from a bulletin she put up,” Lilia told him. “Just tell us how to pay you back for your work on the costumes.”

The bearded pixy shook his head. “Never mind about that. Canceling the competition is a bad deal for everybody, but if the king canceled it, it’s for good reason. They’ve been planning this competition for a long time. I’ll hang on to the costumes for now. There has to be a big competition eventually. You can come back for the costumes then. The important thing for now is to focus on your other show.”

“Actually, it’s more than just the competition,” Adelina said. “She told us all shows are called off until further notice.”

“It’s bigger than I thought,” the pixy said, scratching at his bearded chin. “What’ll you do now? It sounds like the perfect time to take a vacation.”

“We should keep going,” Adelina said. “We’ll take Prince back to the toy kingdom as planned. Maybe we can perform there once or twice before he finds his home.”

“I knew it.” Meri threw her arms into the air. “I knew we shouldn’t have re-written the competition show to include the toy.”

“We’ll just go back to what we had,” Limlim said. “It’s not a big deal.”

“You handle that,” Meri said. “I’m going back to the library.”

“I have some things do in another town,” Noemi said. “I’ll catch up with you in the toy town closest to the border.”

“The rest of us will head out today,” Adelina said.

The group headed into the forest. After a night’s sleep, they resumed their journey at first sunlight. Along the way, the smaller troupe worked out ideas on how to incorporate Prince into a routine they could perform in toy towns.

Before starting with the next part, there are a couple of concepts that are used but not explained. I don’t know how I’ll handle their explanations, so I’ll cover them here for the draft version.

First is years. A year is comprised of four seasons. In many lands, based on location, the “summer” and “winter” seasons are long, and the “spring” and “autumn” seasons are short. These are referred to as “the longs” and “the shorts”, respectively. A year is referred to as either “two longs and two shorts” or “two shorts and two longs” depending on which season the referred to span of four seasons most closely begins with. A phrase such as “two longs as a short” would refer to either summer through winter or winter through summer, depending on context.

The eastern direction is known as the Rising land because this is where the sun and the moon rise from.

Faeries and pixies have a languages much like British English and US English, two languages with a common source, but which have grown apart. Others, such as rats, have a completely different language with no relation to the faeries’ and pixies’ languages.

A tartan kilt, a Shinto priestess, and Mom’s apple pie: each of these conjure up images of distinct cultures of whole countries. Likewise, faeries have a common culture, and pixies have their own culture, and rats have their own culture as well.

And with that said, the story continues:

The Next Morning

The morning sun pressed against Adelina’s face, forcing her eyes slowly open. The looked around, half-expecting the cold morning mist often seen in the forests back home. She let herself relax against the tree branch where she had fallen asleep the night before. Even mornings here were warmer at this season.

After a few more moments, Adelina stretched her arms and legs. She sat upright, taking in the view below her. Noemi had already put out the fire and was nowhere to be seen. Adelina flew up above the treetops to get a better look at the sun’s position. The lower tip barely still touched the Rising land. Noemi couldn’t have already gone ahead, could she have?

Movement below caught Adelina’s eye. She flew over the moment, then she descended into the treetop leaves. She set herself against a thin branch and looked down. On the ground, Adelina looked carefully, Noemi and Prince stood. Adelina quickly worked her way down, fluttering to the ground beside the two.

“Adelina, where have you been?” Noemi said to her. “Would you look at this? It’s a guard from the toy king’s Nutcracker Guard. It’s just standing here in the middle of pixy land. I asked it what its story is, but it won’t talk.”

“I think maybe he can’t talk because he’s a toy,” Adelina said. She reached to the toy and straightened his red bow tie. “His name is Prince. I met him yesterday. He needs to get back home. I told him he can come with us.”

Noemi put a hand on Adelina’s shoulder, leading her aside. “How can you know this when it can’t even talk? And you just invited a strange toy to travel with us? When were you planning on consulting everyone else about this?”

“It’ll be all right,” Adelina said, walking back over to Prince. “Reserve your judgment until you see him dance. Once you’ve seen him dance, you’ll change your mind. He can perform with us in return for our helping him home. Besides, wouldn’t you want to help someone even if they couldn’t offer anything in return?”

“I don’t know,” Noemi said. She started to walk on ahead. “Do whatever you want. Just don’t expect Limlim and Meri to completely redo all their work to fit a new character into the story.” She turned around, continuing to walk away, backwards. “Look, let’s just gather materials. If your friend here helps out with that, maybe we’ll have time for it–for him to show me his dance. It’s not like he’ll get any big parts in the show, but if he’s any good, I’ll put in a good word for him with the others.”

“Really? Thank you!” Adelina took Prince’s hand in hers. “Well don’t look so excited,” she said to Prince, giving a smile. “Come on.” She gave a pull at Prince’s arm, and he started to walk alongside her. “We need acorns to make armor from, and thin thorns for lances. Do you understand? Let’s go!”

The three searched as they walked. Prince gathered many acorns, and Adelina and Noemi took turns looking them over, checking for size, shape, and quality. Adelina found a tree with needle-covered fruits, perfect to use as lances. By nightfall, they had the needed supplies. They set up camp for the night, and a campfire lit the area.

As promised, Noemi gave Prince a chance to show his dance. He wouldn’t dance alone, instead requesting Adelina join him. Noemi watched in awe as the two danced. Adelina smiled when she saw Noemi’s expression. She knew what Noemi must be thinking. Everyone in The Sylphides danced as best they could, but they lacked any formal training. Prince danced as if he were a well-known ballet dance instructor.

“Can he play an instrument?” Noemi asked as the two continued to dance.

“I don’t know,” Adelina said, missing a step. She watched Prince’s movements for a second before catching up with the pas de deux. “It’s difficult to keep up,” she told Noemi. “There’s no set pattern. It’s more like a royal ball dance. Every move feels spontaneous, like a dance from the heart.”

“We should get to sleep,” Noemi said. “We need to leave early if we want to reach town before the sun stops touching the land.”

Introducing Prince

In town the next day, the ballet troupe gathered. Before determining their usual show plans, the group updated everyone on their progress for the competition.

“Limlim’s finished the draft,” Meri said, “and I’ve finished the basic routine. Both will be finalized today.”

“I’ll be helping complete costumes,” Payan said. “They’ll be done on time.”

“And everyone can’t wait to see the show,” Shannel shouted. “There are only a few other ballet acts, and ours will be the best!”

“I’m glad to hear everything’s going smoothly,” Adelina said. “I want to introduce someone.” She turned to Prince, who had been standing not far off. Adelina motioned for him, and he walked over to the group. “This is Prince. He’s lost and needs help finding his way home. I told him he could come along with us. He’ll even dance in some of our shows along the way. He’s the best dancer I’ve ever seen.”

“I can vouch for that,” Noemi added. “He shows potential to be a good temporary Sylphide. Any objections to Prince staying with us for a while?”

“Are you kidding?” Limlim said, pulling out her notebook. “This’ll make things so much easier for the competition. Meri, let’s rework this over lunch. Payan, we’ll need a lackey costume. He can follow me and Noemi around, and take some bigger spots when one of us isn’t on stage. This is going to be so much easier now. If you’ll excuse us,” Limlim finished, taking Payan’s hands in hers, and pulling her away. “We’ll catch up with you later.”

“Wait for me,” Noemi called out. “If you’re making any changes with my role, I need to know about it.” She took hold of Prince’s hand. “Come on, you need to learn your role, too.” She headed after Limlim and the others, and Prince followed closely. “Meri?”

“Very well,” Meri said with a sigh. She walked after the others. “But we need to work the toy into our smaller show first,” she called out to them. “Do you hear me? I’m not going to ruin all our competition work adding in someone who can’t perform!”

“I like him,” Lilia said to Adelina. “He has a kind face. Meri didn’t mean it personally. I’m sure you’ve practiced performing with him.”

“Well, actually…” Adelina held her hands behind her back. “He can dance, but I don’t know about performing.”

“He seemed kind of spacey,” Shannel said. “But that doesn’t mean Meri had to be a meanie about him.”

Practice

The Sylphides regrouped later at a small practice stage.

“Okay, places everyone,” Limlim said. “We’ll be rehearsing ‘Star’. A new role has been created for Prince. He’ll play the villian’s lackey. We’ve created this role because it’ll prepare him for a similar role in the competition play.”

Limlim handed Shannel a long thorn. “It’s a lance for the competition show, but we’ll pretend it’s a sword for this rehearsal. Okay, motivation overview. Shannel, you’ve been raised since you were a baby to believe all the land you can see belongs to your family.” She handed a thorn to Adelina. “Your village has lived in poverty because of Noemi’s evil lordship. Now that Noemi has been slain by my character, you want Shannel to bring peace to the land. Your request means Shannel will have to give up her family’s land and rule, the one thing she cannot do. Remember, Shannel, you believe everything your family has done is right and just, and Adelina wants to take it all away from you.

“Prince, you will play the part of Shannel’s lackey. Your motivation is an undying duty to serve Shannel’s family. You would give up your life for Shannel, which is why Shannel sends you out on a fight to the death against Adelina. You two battle, and you lose, but Adelina refuses to kill you. You have never seen such kindness, and you fall in love. You want to be with her and to protect her, but you don’t want to betray Shannel’s family. Your mind is in agony, and you kill yourself. Because your soul was so strong, you become a star in the night sky.

“Adelina reaches the castle, and she pleas for peace. After Prince killed himself, Adelina doesn’t want to see anymore lives lost. Shannel, you believe Adelina killed Prince herself, and is trying to lower your guard. The two of you battle with all your might, and Shannel defeats Adelina, taking her life.

“Like Prince before her, Adelina becomes a star in the night sky. Shannel realizes Adelina was willing to die to confront her. She visits a village where Lilia and Payan are poor and oppressed. Confronted with the true nature of her family’s rule, Shannel vows to right her family’s wrongs. That night, she looks into the night sky, and sees the two new stars. She knows those stars will always hang overhead as a reminder of her actions. Cue curtain call. Where shall be begin?”

“Where’s Meri?” Lilia whispered to Noemi. “I thought she’d want to be here to see this?”

“Library,” Noemi whispered back. “I guess she figured she wouldn’t need to be here for rehearsal since she’s on instrument.”

Day one ended with over 2,650 words written. The writing went well, although the characters don’t get any formal visual description. I can add this in later. It felt like if I tried to write it all down right now, I’d be slowing myself and making no progress.

So, what’s to know about appearances? Let’s see, faeries are small people shorter than an adult human’s hand. They have bug-like wings, and they wear clothing made from plants, such as leaves and flower petals.

Pixies are similar to faeries, but they have no wings, and their ears come to rounded points at the tops. They wear clothing made from materials such as woven cotton.

The cast of main characters is fairy big, as the main character is part of a seven-member ballet troupe. Since I haven’t written descriptions beyond hair color into the story, here’s a run-down for reference. All characters are teenage.

Adelina: A faery with short, pink hair. Her eyes are pink.

Limlim: A faery with orange hair of sadly-undetermined length. (Hopefully I can work this out soon!) Her eyes are orange.

Meri: A faery with long, green hair, and she wears is in a low ponytail. Her eyes are green.

Lilia: A faery with yellow hair. It’s long in the back, and bangs (fringe) in the front. Her eyes are yellow.

Noemi: A pixy with short, red hair. Her hair is almost shoulder-length. Her eyes are red.

Payan: A faery with blue, most likely short hair. Her eyes are blue.

Shannel: A faery with long violet hair. Although it isn’t mentioned, she wears a purple mushroom with pink spots as a hat. Her eyes are violet.

I’m using chapter titles purely as a way for me to keep track of sections during the writing stage. They are not intended to represent chapter titles for use.

The story begins here…

Curtain Call

The curtains opened, the cast stepping out onto the stage one final time. Leading the group danced a pink-haired fairy named Adelina. The small outdoors audience, a gathering of about 30, applauded to see the story’s victorious heroine reappear, wearing her tattered outfit from the final scene.

Following Adelina, the yellow-haired faery, Lilia, skipped across the stage, taking wide steps. She had played the heroine’s closest friend, providing strength to the heroine in the final scene. She took her place beside Adelina, the applause continuing.

Third to grace the stage had played the role of the villain, the heroine’s uncle. This costume included a raggedy beard, which the purple-haired fairy, Shannel, removed before taking her bows.

The actress playing the villian’s wingless lackey came out next, the group’s only pixy, the red-haired Noemi. She joined Shallel’s side, and the two took bows together.

After the applause began to settle, Adelina stepped forward. She looked across the crowd, and she smiled. “Let’s also recognize the great talents working hard behind the scenes to bring our production together. Limlim, our wonderful writer, come on out! Without you, we wouldn’t have stories to tell.”

The group’s writer stepped out from behind the curtains. The loud applause left the orange-haired faery’s face red, and she quickly bowed to hide it. Her body shook slightly as she wondered whether she’d bowed too long, but she couldn’t find the strength to stand upright again.

A hand set on Limlim’s shoulder. Noemi’s voice whispered to her, “Come on, let’s go.” With Noemi at her side, Limlim straightened up. The two walked to the end of the stage, passing by a blue-haired faery.

“Payan here,” Adelina continued without missing a beat, “designed all the costumes seen in today’s performance. Because of her, our stories are able to visually come to life. And Meri,” she said as a green-haired faery followed onto the stage behind Payan, “handled the choreography. We’d be standing around doing nothing the whole show without her ballet steps.”

The applause caused Adelina to smile again. After it subsided, she prepared for her final words of the show. “Every member of our troupe contributes a great amount to our performance, both on stage and off.” She turned to her friends at the edge of the stage. “I thank each and every one of The Sylphides for continuing to work hard and have fun. But most of all,” she added, turning and facing the audience, “I thank you, the viewers. It’s your kindness and your support that keeps us going. Our last performance in this town has been as lovely as every before it, and it saddens us to have to leave, but such is the life of a traveling ballet troupe. Our next appearance will be at the town edging the royal castle, and if all goes well, we’ll be performing before the Royal Family of Pixies.”

A final applause followed as Adelina walked across the stage, going down the steps at its side, following after her friends. She smiled at the others around her, and they smiled back. “This is it,” Adelina said to them. “There’s no turning back now.”

“Like we’d want to turn back,” Noemi said with laugh. She looked at the audience slowly breaking up, then back to her friends. “Our next show will be our biggest yet. We’re ready for it, right?”

“It certainly has been a challenging to write,” Limlim said. “Using a cast of seven for the first time is difficult to manage, especially considering one of us has to be off stage on an instrument any given scene. But don’t worry, it’s almost finished. I can handle a little story!”

“Costume designs are set,” Payan said in her low voice.

Meri added to this, “We’ve already contacted someone from the castle town who’ll make them for us, and for free at that. We’re the only ones who’ve contacted them for business for the contest. They welcome the publicity and advertising they’ll get when we credit them in the curtain call. And the routines are mostly sketched out. I’ll complete them once Limlim finishes drafting the story.”

“This really is going to be our best show yet,” Shannel said, bouncing up and down. “If the king and queen and prince haven’t heard f our group yet, they will once we give this next performance. They’ll be demanding to see our show, for sure!”

“Now, now,” Adelina said, putting a hand on Shannel’s shoulder to keep her from bouncing too much. “Let’s not be too eager.”

“You can take our eagerness,” Shannel called out, “but our enthusiasm remains unbridled!”

Lilia continued to smile as she listened to her friends.

The troupe worked out their plans for the following days. Limlim, Payan, and Meri would go ahead to the next down to finish the story and ensure the costumes would be ready in time. Lilia and Shannel would go with them to attract attention to their next act among the citizens there. Adelina and Noemi would pass through the forest on their way to the town, in search of extra materials needed for the planned costumes.

Occurrence in the Tower

A brown-haired pixy danced barefoot upon the stone floor of his room. He hummed a tune as he moved from side to side. Reaching the open window on the south-facing wall, he leaned against the stone still. He gave a sigh as he looked out from his tower room, seeing far across the land.

The setting sun color the distant houses red and purple. The stage and seating for the upcoming contest had been completed earlier that day, but the pixy could barely see it. “I wish I could watch the shows,” he muttered to himself. “I hope a ballet performance wins the contest.” He stood upright, and returned to fluidly moving across his room in dance.

It wasn’t long before the sun’s rays could barely light the land. The pixy lit a candle by this bed, then he readied his night gown. He danced his way across the room, and he opened his changing room door, bowing before it. He lifted his head and opened his eyes to see a figure standing there, and the pixy fell back in shock. Sitting up, he looked upon the figure wearing a hood and a cape. “Who are you?” the pixy demanded as he stood. “What are you doing in my changing room?”

“Please forgive me,” the visitor said. In a quick movement, he reached his gloved hand out, the glove’s magic allowing his hand to pass into the pixy’s chest. He pulled out he pixy’s heart, dropping it into a magical bag.

Not realizing yet what had just happened, the pixy fell to his knees, his hands clutching at his chest. “I don’t understand,” he said through his clenching teeth. “Why?”

“Don’t worry,” the visitor said softly, kneeling before him. “I won’t let you die, but I can’t let anyone find out about this, either.” He removed his glove, then placed his palm against the pixy’s forehead. “I truly am sorry. If only there were some other way…”

A sensation passed through the pixy’s whole body, taking away the pain in his chest with it.

“This way,” the visitor said, “you have a heart again. You’ll live. Isn’t that enough? To live?”

In the Forest

Their friends halfway to the castle town, Adelina and Noemi were far into the forest. They hadn’t had much success in finding costume supplies, but they expected better progress after sunrise. The two talked about performance plans while roasting red and purple berries over a campfire.

After their dinner, Noemi stretched, and suggested it was time for her to go to bed.

“But the moon has barely entered the sky,” Adelina said.

“One of us has to be up bright and early,” Noemi said, pouring a handful of dirt on the fire to calm it a little. Being a pixy, she lacked the wings to fly and travel distances in less time. “And besides, I need to prepare my bed, and I can’t do that with you looking over my shoulder the whole time. Don’t you have one of your night walks to go on?”

Adelina stood from the fire. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said with a smile, then she walked away from Noemi and the campfire. She often took a lone walk at this time, using the time to think about things. Adelina would normally have left for her walk by now, but with only Noemi with her, Adelina didn’t want to leave her alone. She knew Noemi was making excuses to give her a chance to go on her walk.

After a few minutes of walking, Adelina came to an cleared area. The part in treetops revealed the night sky. Fireflies darted about overhead, adding to the light of the full moon and stars in the cloudless sky above. Adelina giggled as she watched the glowing bugs move. “If I tried flying in quick spurts like that,” she said aloud to herself, “my wings would tire in no time. I wouldn’t mind,” she continued. “I’m content to walk where I need to go. It may take longer, but I have more time to appreciate the scenery around me. There are so many things I don’t see flying by. It’s a shame for me to miss it all.”

Stopping to rest, Adelina took a deep breath in, then out. She looked at the bushes and trees all around. “It really is nice. It reminds me of home. It really is warmer here,” she said, her eyes watching the glowing bugs moving here and there. “I’m told the longs get hotter and colder here than they do back home. Is it true? That soon nights won’t get cool at all?”

Movement in the distance caught Adelina’s attention. Three far-off figured moved in the shadows. Certainly it wasn’t Noemi with anyone else. Curious, Adelina slowly lifted from the ground. Her wings moved only slightly, her body rising into the air. With her toes at thrice her height about the ground, Adelina slowly moved, quietly as she could, closer to the trio.

Down on the ground, two rat soldiers pushed someone into the base of a tree. Adelina had never seen such people before, but she had heard descriptions of rats, and the third person looked like he could be a toy. She looked carefully at the toy, barely able to make out a guard’s uniform, and a line down either side of his chin. Her concentration was broke when one of the rat soldiers spoke. The words were indistinguishable by Adelina, but she understood when they pulled out swords and set their ends against the toy’s uniform.

“Hey,” Adelina called out, “stop that!” She lowered herself halfway. “Leave him alone.”

The rats looked up at her, the toy’s stare remaining straight forward.

“Leeve,” one of the rats seethed in a raspy voice. “Goh bahk! Beh gohn!”

“I will not leave and let you hurt that toy,” Adelina said. “Why don’t you two leave him be?”

A dumbfounded look took place on both rats faces. The raspy-voiced scratched his head, as the other eagerly looked to him. After a moment, the raspy-voiced rat spoke to the other rat in the language unfamiliar to Adelina, and the other replied in the same language. The first tilted his head to the side, then the two scurried until a bush, into a burrow barely visible under the shadows.

Adelina descended, landing beside the toy. The toy had been leaning his back and his head against the tree, his arms dropping, his eyes looking forward. “Are you hurt?” Adelina asked. She motioned for him to stand upright, and the toy complied, pushing himself away from the tree. “You understood that?” Adelina questioned. “Are all toys familiar with ballet mime?” The toy looked at her, giving no response. “Can’t toys speak?” No response. “If you can’t tell, I don’t know anything about toys. But you can understand me, right?” The toy simply stood there, his eyes looking directly into Adelina’s. “You certainly do give your fullest attention. Just what were those rats doing to you? Oh my, where are my manners? My name is Adelina. Do you have a name?”

The toy stepped aside, then back. He lifted his arms, motioning over his head.

“The mime for a crown,” Adelina whispered to herself. “And the arm movement of a child. Young with a crown. A prince, not a king.” She asked the toy, “Are you named after a prince? Or does your name have the same meaning as prince?”

Still silent, the toy looked at Adelina. He did not move, giving no response.

“In that case, I’ll call you Prince. Is that all right? You don’t seem to be against it, I don’t think, so names are out of the way now. What were those two rats doing to you, Prince?”

The unchanging expression on Prince’s face remained still.

“Were you on a mission? Were you kidnapped? Were you taken from your home? I guess you can’t tell me if you can’t talk. Still, you do know ballet mime. Listen, I’m in this ballet troupe, and we’ll be performing near the pixy castle soon. Maybe even within the castle. After that, we plan to pass by the toy kingdom. You can join us, if you’d like. We put on all kinds of plays, conveying our stories through our ballet dancing. There’s no talking, except for some narrative from time to time, but that’s used sparingly. You can join the troupe until we reach your home. How does that sound? Do you like to dance? Do you know ballet?”

And arm raised from Prince, then a leg moved. He stepped back, lightly, giving a bow. He held out a hand toward Adelina.

“Are you asking me to dance with you?” Adelina said. “An audition?” She took his hand in hers, and followed his lead. As Prince danced in a show of ballet, he spoke no words, but as Adelina danced alongside him, she could feel his story. He awoke in the forest, kidnapped by the rat soldiers. He has no idea where he has come from or where he was going. Something is missing, but he doesn’t know what. He is uncertain, unguided, unambitious. He must find what he has lost, but knows no reason why he mus find it. The only thing he is certain of is dancing, but he cannot dance if he is alone.

Time passed as the two danced, and the length of night had begun to wear on Adelina. The two stopped their dancing duet, and Adelina sat against the side of the tree where she had first met Prince. She signaled for him to sit beside her, and he complied. “My troupe is already on their way to the town nearest the castle. If our show is deemed the best in an upcoming competition, we’ll have an audience with the king. The king may even help us contact your king, and I’m certain the toy king will help reunite you with your guard troop. Even if we don’t see the king, the toy kingdom is still the next stop on our itinerary. You can join our ballet troupe, and take part in the performance. You’ll be able to dance every day until you’re back home. Since Limlim will be taking part in our new show, she’s worked out two male roles, a first for our troupe. You can be a third. What do you say?”

No different from before, Prince only stared into Adelina’s eyes. No expression, no hint of a yes or a no came to Prince’s face.

“I’m going back to my camp now. It’s really late, and I’m tired. If you want to join us, find me and my friend Noemi over that way before the sun has fully entered the sky.”

There are going to be many issues with the LaTeX conversion, such as every “Mr. ” needing to be “Mr.~”. Any en dash should be two – and each em dash should be three -. Quotes need to open with `` and close with ''. This can all be worked out over time. For me, it’s not a big deal.

One of the big reasons for a move to LaTeX is to start giving all my stories the same directory/file layout within each story’s directory on my computers. This will be the biggest effort, and so far I’ve only started to work it out for “Characters” and “Chapters”.

Characters

The layout for characters is as follows: Within the story’s root directory (the folder containing every file related to the story) is a “Characters.tex” file. There is also a “Characters” directory. Within the “Characters” directory, for each character there is a .tex file and a directory. The directory for the character contains multiple .tex files with information, and the .tex in the “Characters” directory for that character pulls those all together. The “Characters.tex” file includes all the character .tex files.

When it comes time to generate a PDF listing all the characters, I simply run Characters.tex through pdflatex. \input{} statements will include the .tex file for each character in the “Characters” directory, and each of those files will include the .tex files for that individual character.

There’s still work to be done on designing this part. Right now, a file such as Noemi.tex contains basic information on the character called Noemi. When I create a Noemi directory, how will I name the files with information about her? It needs to be done in a way that can be standard across all stories.

My current plans are to have a at the very least an Appearance.tex for each character, which describes how they look. Another file should tell something about their personality, I support Personality.tex. A Development.tex file would contain character development information. This tells how the character develops during the story, giving their motivation, their goal, the conflicts they face, what will impact them to allow them to overcome that obstacle.

At the moment, each character file begins with a \chapter{} with that character’s name. Each file in that character’s folder begins with a \section{}, and may divide into \subsection{}s. There’s probably a better way to go about this than using \chapter{}, so I have more to research before I get too far in this conversion.

Chapters

A Story.tex file is in the root directory, pulling in all the chapter files. I’m placing all chapters within a “Chapters” directory. Within the “Chapters” directory, there is a directory for each chapter, and a .tex file. The directory holds a .tex file for each scene.

This is where using LaTeX starts to help out with the organization. The Story.tex file lists an \input{} for each chapter. If I want to move a chapter to another position, I simply move it around in the Story.tex file. If I have a chapter called “Entering the Craft”, and I want to re-order a scene in the chapter from the middle to the end, I simply move its \input{} in the “Entering the Craft.tex” file. If I want to move a scene to a different chapter, I move the file to the other chapter’s directory, and move its \input{} to the other chapter’s .tex file.

Everything Else

I haven’t even considered settings, events (such as historic events, festivals, etc.), technology, and other things. I have a long way to go when it comes to organizing my writing, but it gives me something to do when I’m not up to actually writing, especially when it’s due to having limited time, or being in an environment where I simply cannot write.

What does this search match on? Anything with the word “said” followed by an adverb. This is important because an adverb after said is often (although not always negatively) telling rather than showing.

Let’s see what the five matches were.

“Don’t worry about me,” Samuel said slowly. “The girl needs help.”

He’s out of breath and worn out a bit, thus his speaking slowly. “Slowly” doesn’t convey any kind of emotion, but maybe I can still improve upon it a bit.

“Don’t worry about me,” Samuel said. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath. “The girl needs help.”

Later in the chapter, there’s another adverb.

“Hey, Ty,” Samuel said quietly, nudging the cat beside him. “Check this out.”

This one I could rewrite as “Samuel whispered”, but I think I’ll leave it as it is. If I can improve upon it, I’m not sure how at the moment.

I’ll skip the third one (with “Sarah said quickly”) as it’s no longer part of the story. I keep trashed scenes and dialogue in case I may get inspiration from or use of them at a later date. This part is first draft material, and not worth rewriting right now even if I were to use the portion again later.

Fourth.

“Ty isn’t with me,” Samuel said firmly.

Ouch, this is a hard one. He’s being firm in how he speaks. Could I write this in another way and capture his firmness? The scene is that someone has approached him to take his cat, Ty, away from him. Samuel is standing his ground here. Hard work here, so I’ll move on.

“I’m not sure you do forgive me,” Jenna said solemnly, stirring the ice with her straw in her half-filled cup of ice tea. “I don’t think you can forgive me for it.”

Aha! Here’s a big one. Why am I, the narrator, telling the reader that Jenna is solemn? Let’s try removing the word.

“I’m not sure you do forgive me,” Jenna said, stirring the ice with her straw in her half-filled cup of ice tea. “I don’t think you can forgive me for it.”

Now, the question is, can I infer her solemnness from the paragraph? I’d say no, I cannot. Let’s add some context by including the two paragraphs before it. It opens with Jenna speaking to Samuel.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to bring up. I meant everything I said when drugged, but I didn’t mean to say any of it. Looking back on it, I wish I didn’t say any of it. I don’t mean it now, and I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I guess that drug let me be vocal with the things I wouldn’t say, the things I wouldn’t have said for myself, no matter how much I wanted to say them. I’m sorry for having said them to you. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you,” Samuel replied with a smile. “I know what it’s like to be in that situation, and I understand your feelings over it.”

“I’m not sure you do forgive me,” Jenna said, stirring the ice with her straw in her half-filled cup of ice tea. “I don’t think you can forgive me for it.”

This is a difficult one, but one I need to tackle.

She frowned. “I’m not sure you do forgive me,” Jenna said, stirring the ice with her straw in her half-filled cup of ice tea. “I don’t think you can forgive me for it.”

Does that work? Is it really that simple? At one moment she’s asking his forgiveness for what she’s done, and the next she’s frowning, unsatisfied with Samuel’s response. “I’m not sure you do forgive me. I don’t think you can forgive me for it.” She frowns as she says this. Is she solemn? Is there a feel of gloominess in her words that might not have been there has she not frowned? I wonder…

Running all of my writings through the regular express, there’s less than ten matches. This pleases me. There’s another person speaking firmly, and one man speaks plainly. Two others speak confidently.

“I’ll never forget you,” the princess said, holding his hand.

“It’s not like I plan on going out there and dying,” the knight said back. He smiled. “Wait for me. I will return.”

The princess let his hand slip from her grip. She turned away from the knight. “My brother proclaimed the same. What of him?”

“Prince Eric is out there.” The knight placed his hands on her shoulders. “And I’m going to find him, and bring him home.”

The playwright walked out onto the stage. “Is everyone following along?” he asked the large theater audience. He gestured toward the princess. “She wants her love, the knight, to return safely, but she believes she has already lost her brother to the war.” He motioned to the knight. “The knight is a proud warrior who will not admit defeat before has even left the castle. He tries to console the princess, for he loves her so, by assuring her that the prince is still alive.”

A man from the audience–third row back from the stage–stood. He cupped his hands around his mouth, and shouted out, “We get it! You don’t need to explain it to us! We’re not morons!”

Although this is my own writing, the idea of a playwright coming out and explaining the emotion in a scene (wants, believes, will not admit, tries to console, assuring) comes from Chapter 5, “Dialogue Mechanics” in “Self-Editing for Fiction Writers“.

The idea here is that explaining a character’s emotions in writing is like a playwright stopping a play to explain the characters emotions. Their dialogue and gestures should be enough to convey their emotions.

Let’s look at the scene from the play as if it were instead a novel where the writer is explaining the emotions as they happen.

“I’ll never forget you,” the princess said solemnly, holding his hand.

“It’s not like I plan on going out there and dying,” the knight said, disapproving of the princess’s tone. He smiled to counter the building tension. “Wait for me. I will return,” he spoke with energy.

The princess let his hand slip from her grip. She turned away from the knight. “My brother proclaimed the same,” she said gloomily. “What of him?” she pressured.

“Prince Eric is out there,” the knight assured. The knight placed his hands on her shoulders. “And I’m going to find him, and bring him home,” he said with certainty.

This version does two things. First, it explains the emotion as it happens. The princess gloomily said “My brother proclaimed the same”? How else would she say it? Happily? Frankly? With anger? Maybe she would say it with anger, in which case her actions need to support it.

“Wait for me. I will return.”

The princess threw his hand from her grip. She turned her back to the knight. “My brother proclaimed the same. What of him?”

Simply changing how she parts her hold from the knight impacts the paragraph. Even her turn takes on a whole new meaning. The words for the turn could have remained the same and had a different feel, but they’ve been rewritten to add to the different emotion. She isn’t simply turning away from him. She’s turning her back on him. There’s no need to write, “she spoke angerly” or “she said to him, angry at his words”; the words and motions work toward conveying her anger.

I admit that I–like most writers, I would imagine–went through my “anti-said” phase. Rather than Daniel saying, he interjects. Rather than Melanie saying, she says gratefully.

Replacing “said” all over the place can easily kill the flow of the story. I’ve read somewhere that no one sees “said”. The idea is that it’s as common as “the” and “a” and “to”, so there’s no notice of all the occurrences of said. But as soon as someone asserts, bellows, howls their anger; begs, inquires, queries their questions; gasps, hisses, whispers their words; barks, hollers, roars, wails their orders; or otherwise asserts, chastises, chuckles, drones, fusses, giggles, jokes, laughs, lies, moans, nags, pleas, prattles, proclaims, screams, screeches, or snarls their words every chance they get, these actions stand out. They are noticed. They interrupt the flow of the story just the same as the playwright who came out to ensure his audience knew what the characters in his play were feeling.

And then there are the -ly words. Don’t tell me Estelle spoke lovingly or angerly or listfully. Remove the adverb, and see if her dialogue still carries the same emotion. If not, then her words and the narrator’s telling of her emotion may not match up. Consider the following scene:

“I’ll give you all my money,” he said sarcastically to the knife-wielding thug, keeping his eyes away from the approaching police officer. “Just don’t kill me,” he said mockingly.

Let’s remove the adverbs, and try again.

“I’ll give you all my money,” he said to the knife-wielding thug, keeping his eyes away from the approaching police officer. “Just don’t kill me,” he said.

Does he still sound sarcastic? No? This is because his words and actions do not convey sarcasm. Because his words do not sound sarcastic, the narrator previously tried to tell us his sarcasm, rather than showing it. This goes back to the oft-mentioned idea of “show, don’t tell”. At best, he may sound desperate, even though there is a police officer sneaking up on the thug.

In order to correct this, we must either add in actions that convey emotion, or rewrite the dialogue to better convey it (or both).

His failed to restrain a smile. “Sure, I’ll give you all my money,” he said to the knife-wielding thug. He tried not to divert his eyes to the police officer slowly approaching. “You can have my money, my credit cards, and my house, just please, oh please, don’t kill me.”

Not only does the man’s dialogue show his sarcasm now, but his actions better support it. He’s trying not to smile, as he knows a police officer is about to get the thug. As he tries not to look at the officer (potentially alerting the thug), the man keeps talking, trying to buy time for the officer. His further dialogue replaces the narrative that he “mocked” the thug by instead having him offer the thug with more things than the thug could realistically take. Using stolen credit cards doesn’t get someone very far if the owner’s had a chance to report them as stolen. Taking ownership of a house will get a thug nowhere good. Because of these reasons, the thug is being mocked without the narrator having to say he’s being mocked.

I often write he said, she said, then I color the description of dialogue on a following draft. I’m putting my effort into the wrong area, and in turn am working backwards. Instead, I should freely use adverbs in the first draft (the idea is to get the scene and emotion down), and then I can remove the adverbs and fill out the scenes in detail on the following drafts.

… expand that sentence [from step one] to a full paragraph describing the story setup, major disasters, and ending of the novel. … Ideally, your paragraph will have about five sentences. One sentence to give me the backdrop and story setup. Then one sentence each for your three disasters. Then one more sentence to tell the ending.

And so, I try it.

Orphan Samuel and his tiger cub campanion, Ty, travel across the United States, entering sanctioned animal fights to earn funds. Their interactions with combat rival Kyle put the two against an underground organization known as the Solitary Rare. Their involvement with the Solitary Rare deepens when the two are offered sponsorship of a new product stolen from the organization. When the power the Solitary Rare seeks from Kyle is unleashed on Samuel, all his friendships are strained. As he recovers, a benefactor offers him a trip to Africa, but at a great cost unknown to Samuel. Once in Africa, Samuel and Ty go in search of what they’ve been hoping to find.

Is it bad that I’m rather unsatisfied with these, but cannot do any better? I’m trying to cut out everything not relevant to the main plot, but then the main plot just feels so bare to make it so consise.

Maybe I shouldn’t have used character names yet?

Maybe I should start at the beginning.

My all-time favorite male name is Samuel. For female name, it’s probably Sarah, with the h. So, it’s no surprise that when I want to wrote a little bit of story, I start out with Samuel and Sarah as character names.

I even started a story set in the Pokémon universe with Samuel Montgomery. The surname Montgomery isn’t a favorite of mine by any means, but I’d been pairing it up with “Samuel” for some time, and liked it. I knew a Kyle at the time, so I decided to use that as the rival’s name (for lack of being able to come up with a name for him). For some reason, I see Kyle as an “interesting” name. The spelling, the pronunciation, the look of it. It has this “rare” feeling to me, as if it’s not a common name you see very often. It felt it would work for a rival, someone who is not as common in a story as the main character. Giving him a sister named Sarah made everything fit into place.

I started with a Pokémon in a local competition for Samuel and Kyle. But then what? I needed them to travel across the country, from west coast USA to east coast. I decided to rename cities by rearranging the letters (such as San Diego becoming San Goedi; an idea which I may scrap) This meant using real city names, and that meant research. I decided to plot out one state per chapter, and have a set number of chapters, each which I’d give a creative title that would inspire the events of that chapter.

Essentially, I threw together a strict outline which I must follow, even if I come up with good ideas outside of it (they must be wedged into it somewhere) or failed to come up with any ideas at all.

I’ve since dropped the relation with Pokémon from the story, and some titles were adjusted to match, but other than that they have remain the same. And they have influenced the story’s development in good ways.

I think I might finally be almost ready to drop this strictness, as I snowflake the story.

The difficult part for me when writing different parts of a story is keeping them in order. One text per chapter. You can’t put the chapter number in the filename, because you might rearrange, or add or remove chapters.

Maybe chapter isn’t even the right word. In this story, a “chapter” can contain many unrelated events, one after another, as long as they are in the same city. Perhaps a whole new approach should be used. One folder per state/city pair can be used. Each state can be numbered based on its visit, with California as “1″. There might be multiple cities visited, so either the folder can contain multiple folders per city, or there can be multiple folders such as “1.1 San Goedi, California”, with the next city in California having a folder name starting with 1.2. From here, the events in one city can be split into multiple files, one for each event, and those can easily be moved from one folder to another as necessary.

That’s going way off on a tangent there. Back to there monolithic “chapters” I have the story split into right now. I put my outline here as a means of reminder to myself that which I must cast off. I will not be able to properly snowflake this story if this outline is constraining me as longer. This will free all my scene ideas that don’t fit into the outline, as well. I’ve included my almost-original chapter outlines. They’re only “almost” original because they’ve been modified to work with the removal of Pokémon.

Chapter One: Leaving Home: First Steps of a Long Journey

“Animal researcher Samuel Montgomery finally decides the time is right to leave his California home travel to New York, aiming to participate in the National Championship. Also heading out west are Samuel’s self-proclaimed rival, Kyle Johnson, and Kyle’s sister Sarah, who happen to be the targets of Rubin and Saphir, members of an organization known as the Solitary Rare.”

This chapter takes place in San Goedi, California. Outside of Kyle losing to Samuel in the local championship, and an introduction of Rubin, there really isn’t much at all that happens in California. This needs to be fixed, I’m sure.

Chapter Two: Uneasy Spirit: Mystery of the Bansee

“In a small town in Arizona, Samuel finds himself caught in visions from times long past. Local legend tells of a bansee, and Samuel is her next victim. Kyle and Sarah can only laugh at this unbelievable plight. Who believes in such a silly legend? A fierce storm sets the stage for Samuel to meet the bansee face-to-face, and confront the origin of the legend.”

Takes place in Neophix, Arizona. This idea worked for a Pokémon-based story, but it doesn’t work as well for what “Dragon Blood” has become. Banshee aside, I have things in this chapter that need to happen. I can drop the banshee part, but that leaves things hollow in the chapter. Also, the banshee part ties in to something in the latter half of the story. I want to keep this in, and successfully write in events to stories unrelated to Samuel’s goal, but which he becomes a part of along the way.

Chapter Three: The Great Sand Dunes: Friend in the Desert

“The vast deserts within Colorado provide harsh and treacherous environments for Samuel and Ty to train. When Samuel becomes lost in the burning desert, a young archaeologist takes him in.”

I think Cottonwood Grove, Colorado is the only place whose name I didn’t re-spell, other than New York City.

I have little written for this chapter. If I want to use Carlyn (the archaeologist) where I already have him in later parts of the story, then he needs to be introduced here. I want to be able to tie this chapter in with the hidden backdrop story of dragons, as well as various actions of the Solitary Rare organization. Much work is required here.

Chapter Four: Troubled Reunion: Battles and Festivities

“After running into Sarah, Samuel decides to train for his first major battle. Also, he attends a local Irish festival.”

The chapter for Thiawic, Kansas is the second most empty chapter after the Cottonwood one. The Irish festival is meant to introduce Sarah and Kyle’s father, and has since become a method to really show what drives Kyle to compete. However, I need a festival in the next chapter instead, which makes things all the more difficult. By casting the outline aside, maybe I can merge the two into one.

Chapter Five: The Carp and the Waterfall: Legend of the Dragon

“It’s festival time in Missouri, pulling in battlers from miles around. Kyle becomes fascinated with the legend of the carp that became a dragon. Samuel discovers new enemies from the Solitary Rare. Sarah prepares to return home, for the start of the new school year.”

See? Didn’t I say there’d be a festival here in the next chapter, here in Ebanlon, Missouri? Merging this in with the prior chapter, Sarah could stay with her father and go with him back to California, so she can return there in time to start back in school.

Chapter Six: Solitary Rare and the Healing Spray: Enter Vicky and Jenna

“Samuel meets Vicky Edwards, an animal-nurse-in-training, as he journeys through Illinois. She carries with her a revolutionary new kind of medicine, a spray with the ability to heal almost instantly, which sets her as a target of two top Solitary Rare members: Iolyte and Amethyst.”

The story in Tontoma, Illinois here has changed in various ways since this bit was written.

Chapter Seven: Kind Kindler and Forceful Enemies: Protect the Heal Spray!

“A huge competition means points to be earned. With the Heal Spray in his care, Samuel first visits a kindler friend who works nearby, within Indiana. Iolyte and Amethyst are determined to obtain the Heal Spray, and use full force — against both Samuel and Ty!”

It’s off to Rhotba, Indiana. Let’s see, there’s the Heal Spray going into Samuel’s care. There’s meeting with the kindler (which ties in an event in the next chapter, but I also should write something in the California portion to also tie in with that, and perhaps bits elsewhere). There’s defending the Heal Spray. There’s the competition. That’s a lot to fit into one chapter. I’ll enjoy breaking this up into multiple files, and only hope I can keep them sorted. I’ve been unsuccessful in writing software to keep these organized for me, I’m afraid.

Chapter Eight: Victims of Fire: Rubin’s Past

“Ohio is the location of Rubin’s childhood. When his past crosses Samuel’s present, the two must work together to uncover a sinister conspiracy.”

Not much to say about the chapter in Arbaun, Ohio except that it would be the start of Rubin questioning his own present. It’s pretty self-contained to one event, although I can see more being added around it.

Chapter Nine: Poison of the Moon Pearl: Occult Girl and Many Good-Byes

“A glowing moon pearl contains mysterious powers, and its influence takes hold of Samuel. One girl in Pennsylvania holds the secret to the moon pearl, but Saphir has other plans for the girl’s knowledge. The direct effects of the moon pearl may be temporary, but emotions will take longer to heal, and paths fork.”

Arriving in Pennsylvania leads to a lot of major events. It’ll be nice to split them up a bit.

Chapter Ten: Mystery Water Beast and Saphir’s Drug

“A member of the Solitary Rare is causing trouble in New Jersey, and his sights are set on the a rumored hybrid. Saphir learns about Ty’s true identity as a tigon, and uses deceit in attempt to take this feline for her employer.”

In New Jersey, the drug was originally intended to be used against Samuel’s cat, Ty. This has been changed quite a bit, but the general idea is still there. Nonetheless, a lot happens here that can be broken up into bite-sized portions, rather than sitting all in one chapter, in one file.

Chapter 11: Begin Championship: Christmas-time Sports

“It’s time for the competition battles to begin! It’s also the holiday season, and Christmas is right around the corner, marked with a huge celebration in honour of combatants. When Kyle tells Samuel to keep away from the celebration, Samuel discovers what Christmas is truly about.”

Finally, New York. Never mind the sappy “discovers what Christmas is truly about” in there. A lot happens in New York. Too much for one chapter, one file.

Chapter 12 and Beyond

The original outline didn’t take into account a real story starting to creep in which would require sending Samuel to Africa after New York. I also had ideas written out for Brasil, but managed to lose them.

There, that’s out of the system. I can continue with the snowflaking now.

Take an hour and write a one-sentence summary of your novel. … The sentence will serve you forever as a ten-second selling tool. This is the big picture …

[This sentence is] the hook that will sell your book … to readers. So make the best one you can!

Recommendations are to keep it within 15 words, and to not include character names. It should involve the character with the most to lose and what he wants to win. So, what have I come up with?

An orphan and his cat cross the country in search of their missing parents.

Over an hour, and many variations went into that. And I’m very much not satisfied with it. Considering everything Samuel and his cat, Ty, go through, it’s hard to fit it into 15 words or less. To be honest, I don’t even know what to do with his parents. Originally he was going to find them, but that leaves the question of why they’ve been gone for this long. I have a few ways to answer that question, but nothing satisfactory for me. They need to be “lost” in Africa for ten years here…

Ingermanson writes,

Tie together the big picture and the personal picture. Which character has the most to lose in this story? Now tell me what he or she wants to win.

Samuel is the main character, so the line has to be about him, but does he have the most to lose? He’s already “lost” his parents. He’s trying to find them, or at least to find out what happened to them.

There’s also Kyle. The “bad guys” are after Kyle for a rare stone he has, something that belonged to his grandmother. Samuel simply gets caught up in it.

Midway in the story, the stone is destroyed, and Vicky enters. She needs funding so her grandfather’s research can be finalized, but the “bad guys” are after that research. This research is something major, and something her grandfather wanted to be completed. Samuel gets caught in this, as well.

By the final stage of the story, the “bad guys” have Ty, Samuel’s tigon cub, as a target. Samuel and Ty have been together for a decade (with a reason for Ty to still be a cub; it’s the dragon blood). Ty was the last gift to Samuel from Samuel’s parents from the time when they vanished. Ty is practically Samuel’s only true friend. But Samuel doesn’t risk losing him until near the end of the story.

I just don’t know how I can improve that sentence, but I don’t care for it.